The Bar Bill of Seville
At last the eager anticipation of 15 honed and peaked athletes was realised, we were off to Seville. Surely with one more try we would turn a different corner and win a game before we get any older. Since last Christmas we had all been dreaming and waiting for that day when surely faith would pull us through and our patience would finally be rewarded. We had another amazing product of the Youth Academy as part of the most fantastic squad ever to leave Newbury in September 2006 and surely these star people would bring the much cherished victory that we so needed to heal the pain of past defeats and take us to the edge of heaven. The young guns would be given the freedom to get down and go for it. Defeat was nothing but a careless whisper.
The early omens were not good when one member of the party was sent home from the airport as Security did not think that a photocopy of a passport was sufficient evidence of his right to roam the terrorist filled skies. Now we were 14. Let us also look at the physical condition of the others and a sorry tale begins to unfold; a goalkeeper with a groin strain, defenders with minimal experience in the red hot atmosphere of a European game, midfielders with only long-lost memories of running and strikers who were best at hitting the bar. Either type of bar. To finalise the performing athletes we had a reject from a circus but Gerry Cottle himself would have been better. Add the Star Wars reject and the man who auditioned for the French version of “Only Fools and Horses” and we are down to 12 players.
The game developed a familiar pattern with the tourists half the busier and it was no surprise that the sell-out crowd (Ian and Jon, drinking pints on the touchline) saw the home team strike first. After a frenzied attack of finger pointing the defence eventually found the ball – it was in the back of their net. It looked like Rocket was going to have a sore back by midnight. However our plucky heroes rallied and Rambo scored a thunderous equaliser with a notable assist from the Destroyer which owed as much to attempted GBH as to football ability. The good fortune did not continue and we went to our half time Seville oranges behind. The second half continued in the same vein and though the Rocket very nearly saved a penalty, the final score was 7-2 with George notching a consolation goal for the tourists. Who gave away the penalty? Just read the list of European Goal Scorers for the answer. One person now heads the list as per the Destroyers intentions…
What will 2007 bring? Hopefully a fit squad of Performing Athletes desperate for the first win. Hopefully a thirsty squad looking to emulate the old days and drink a bar dry. Hopefully a resourceful squad who appreciate the need for a valid passport. Hopefully everyone who has ever been on a Tour and realises that you can’t beat being away from work with a friendly group of guys who are to football what fish are to mountaineering.
See you next year.
The Persistent Offenders
The Usual Suspects
Tour Four For Faure
3rd Time Lucky
2nd Time Around
This Year's Tour Virgins
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